Overcoming Trauma: The Difference Between HEALTHY & UNHEALTHY Love! | Sheleana Aiyana

Somatic Healing

Sheleana Aiyana explains the profound impact of somatic healing on her journey. She describes somatic experiencing, a technique developed by Peter Levine, which involves working with the body's organs and nervous system to release traumatic memories. This method allows individuals to complete unresolved fight-or-flight responses, leading to significant behavioral changes.

You're actually completing that process so that it can move through your system. Because when we're holding that fight in our system, we're either going to freeze or we're going to be in fight mode all the time in our relationships.

--- Sheleana Aiyana

Lewis Howes shares his own experiences with body talk, highlighting the subtle yet powerful effects of energy moving through the body without physical touch 1 2.

   

Emotional Triggers

Emotional triggers often stem from early childhood or past betrayals, leading to reactive behaviors in adulthood. Sheleana explains that these triggers are stored in the body as unconscious memories, making it difficult to think our way out of them. Instead, working with the body to reorient to safety is crucial.

The answer is going to be working with your body to reorient to what it feels like to be safe and secure inside of you.

--- Sheleana Aiyana

She emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and body-oriented practices to manage these triggers effectively 3 4.

   

Impact of Abuse

Sheleana reflects on the deep impact of abuse and how it shaped her relationships. She shares that her early relationships were marked by chaos and abuse, stemming from a deep-seated father wound and a lack of healthy role models. This led to a pattern of seeking affirmation through unsafe relationships.

The deeper we go, the harder it is to get out of that. And on top of it, a lot of us who have experienced abuse have sort of normalized chaos and dysfunction.

--- Sheleana Aiyana

Her journey towards healing involved recognizing these patterns and working to create a sense of safety and security within herself 5 6.

   

Childhood Trauma

Childhood trauma significantly influenced Sheleana's adult relationships and emotional responses. Growing up without a father and experiencing inconsistent care from her mother, she developed a fear of men and a tendency to express anger over vulnerability. This fear and anger were protective mechanisms in an unsafe environment.

Vulnerability wasn't safe. And then as I hit twelve years old, I was drinking, sleeping on couches, hanging with people who were five to ten years older than me, in and out of jail, doing drugs. So being vulnerable was not safe.

--- Sheleana Aiyana

Despite these challenges, she always felt a deep sense of being loved, which she believes was crucial for her survival and eventual healing 7 8.