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Published Dec 12, 2022

End Your SELF-SABOTAGING Habits & Start Living The Life YOU DESIRE! | Nicole LePera & Lewis Howes

Explore the roots of self-sabotage and the transformative journey to self-worth with Nicole LePera and Lewis Howes, as they delve into emotional complexity, relationship dynamics, and healing methods for achieving mental and emotional well-being.
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  • Worthiness

    and discuss why many people struggle with feeling lovable and how these feelings often stem from childhood experiences. Nicole explains that when caregivers are not emotionally or physically present, children may internalize this absence as a reflection of their own unworthiness. This core wound of feeling unworthy can persist into adulthood, affecting self-esteem and relationships.

    I think maybe the same conversation applies to self worth. Meaning. I think that it might be more of a scale. There might be moments where we feel dropped into ourself. What I believe is our inherent power and worth and ability to really create any choice that we would want to make in our life. And then there's all of the other moments, right. Where deeper wounds are activated. All of this kind of unconscious conditioning that we're just talking about now, nervous system, dysregulation that gets all wrapped up in it, happen. And then we begin to feel less worthy in those moments.

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    Nicole shares her personal journey of achieving professional success yet still feeling unfulfilled, highlighting how overachievement can be a coping mechanism for underlying feelings of unworthiness 1 2.

       

    Self-Care

    The conversation shifts to the role of self-care in cultivating self-love and healthy relationships. Nicole emphasizes that true love is an emotion connected to our ability to feel safe and connected to ourselves. Without self-care, we cannot show up authentically or lovingly for others.

    If you're not feeling safe, if your needs aren't being met and therefore you're not feeling safe, the way you're going to be showing up is not going to be a safe partner, and it might not be a loving one.

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    Lewis and Nicole also discuss the challenge of breaking familiar but harmful patterns in relationships, noting that our bodies often prefer familiar stress over unfamiliar peace 3 4.

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