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Published Jun 4, 2021

PSYCHOLOGIST REVEALS The #1 Thing HOLDING YOU BACK In Life! | Scott Barry Kaufman & Lewis Howes

Psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman joins Lewis Howes to explore the pillars of self-worth, the path to self-actualization, and the nuances of narcissism, while offering profound insights into fostering healthy relationships and personal growth.
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  • Neediness

    and discuss the paradox of neediness in romantic relationships. Scott explains that love should not be conditional, and Lewis adds that being overly needy can repel potential partners. They agree that building self-worth and confidence is crucial for attracting healthy relationships.

    You got to be unattached, and you got to build your own confidence, your own self worth in order to be a magnet to attract those things to you.

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    Scott also shares his belief that finding the right partner can naturally resolve many relationship challenges, emphasizing the importance of safety, connection, and self-esteem as foundational elements for love and purpose 1 2.

       

    Commitment

    Scott explores the dynamics of committed relationships versus polyamorous ones. He acknowledges the challenges of maintaining multiple relationships and leans towards committing to one meaningful partnership. Lewis and Scott ponder whether it's possible to fully invest in both a career and a romantic relationship simultaneously.

    Cultivating a healthy, meaningful relationship with one person is hard enough.

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    Lewis shares his personal struggle with balancing his mission and his love life, expressing guilt over prioritizing his career at times 3 4.

       

    Attachment

    The conversation shifts to attachment styles and their impact on relationships. Scott explains that individuals with a strong sense of self-worth and security naturally command respect and attract healthy relationships. They discuss the concept of non-attachment from Buddhist philosophy and its correlation with secure attachment styles.

    Those who scored high on a scale of Buddha non-attachment scored up the Kazoo high in secure attachment for attachment theory.

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    Lewis shares his journey of overcoming insecurity by spending time alone, which helped him build self-confidence and independence 5 6.

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