How To Set Boundaries In a Relationship (Try This!) | Lewis Howes

Family Dynamics

Establishing boundaries within family dynamics can profoundly impact personal relationships. Lewis Howes shares his journey of accepting his mother's unchanged behavior and the importance of setting boundaries to maintain joy in their relationship. He emphasizes that acceptance and boundaries go hand in hand, allowing one to love family members for who they are while protecting personal well-being 1. Nedra Glover Tawwab adds that family dysfunction often stems from unmet expectations, as family members are human and imperfect 2. She notes, "We have an expectation based on their role...but the person can't, you know, they can't meet it."

   

Personal Care

Setting personal boundaries is crucial for self-care and mental health. Nedra Glover Tawwab highlights the power of boundaries with oneself, which can instantly reclaim time, energy, and mental health 3. She shares her personal boundary of not checking her phone before her morning routine, illustrating how such practices benefit future well-being. Tawwab also discusses the importance of saying no wisely, especially when managing work opportunities, to serve one's future self 4. She reflects, "I think I've become more rigorous about what I say yes to in terms of work opportunities."

   

Adapting Boundaries

Adapting boundaries as circumstances change is essential for maintaining balance. Nedra Glover Tawwab explains that boundaries should be flexible and reassessed regularly to ensure they continue to serve one's needs 5. She argues that societal conditioning often discourages boundary-setting, particularly for women, who are expected to prioritize others' needs over their own. Tawwab states, "We have been conditioned to not have boundaries societally." She emphasizes that boundaries must depend on one's actions, not others' responses, to maintain personal safety and health.